I opened my Figaro Digital session last week by asking the room to put their hands up if they had a CRM. Every hand went up!
Then I asked them to keep it up if the CRM did everything they were promised when they bought it. Almost every hand dropped.
That gap is not a software problem, it is a function problem, and it is the single most consistent finding across every audit I have run. Most businesses bought the software and stopped there.
We have spent a decade getting very good at the M in CRM. Management. Pipelines, properties, workflows, reporting. Almost nobody has spent any time on the R.
Strategy. Who you are building relationships with, and why. Red flag: we just send the newsletter.
Systems. Your CRM, your sending platform, your data and service tools. Red flag: five tools, none of them talking to each other.
Data. What you know, and whether you can trust it. Red flag: nobody knows where half the contacts came from.
Touchpoints. Every email, call and message the person experiences. Red flag: sales and marketing emailing the same person on the same day.
Touchpoints is the one I have added as its own part, because it is the only part your customer ever sees. Nobody outside your business has looked at your CRM. They have only seen what it sends them, and most of what it sends them is email.
Calendar-led. Send whatever is next on the plan. Channels and teams not talking to each other.
Distracted. New tool, new channel, new AI feature. Busy rather than better, and it feels like progress because money is being spent.
Automated. Journeys run without you, built around your internal process rather than the person going through them.
Intent-led. Signals decide what happens next, across every team, with exclusions protecting people from the wrong message at the wrong moment.
Relationship-led. Feels human at every touchpoint, and gets measured on relationships rather than campaigns.
Most businesses I audit sit at level one or two, usually holding the software of a level five. Level two is the trap, because buying something feels like solving something.
Level one, calendar-led. Whatever is next on the plan, from every team, to everyone. The customer experiences noise, and three emails from you in one day.
Level two, distracted. A new channel, a new tool, an AI newsletter every quarter. Busy and inconsistent, never quite about them.
Level three, automated. Welcome, onboarding, basket and renewal flows. The right email, sometimes at the wrong time.
Level four, intent-led. Sends triggered by what people do, with exclusions. The customer thinks: they knew exactly what I needed.
Level five, relationship-led. One conversation across every team, written like a person. The customer thinks: it feels like they know me.
Almost everybody in that room had been told at some point that the fix was a new platform. It very rarely is. Each move up the model needs one decision that nobody in the business has made yet.
One to two. What is our customer journey, and who owns it across every channel? Emails start following the person rather than the content calendar.
Two to three. What will we stop doing? Strategy first, then tools. Fewer, better emails from one joined-up stack.
Three to four. What counts as intent, and what happens when we see it? Emails start responding to what people do, and exclusions start protecting them.
Four to five. Do we measure relationships or campaigns? You stop judging an email on one send.
Write down the decision your next level needs. That is your plan for next year, and it costs nothing except somebody being willing to make it.
Score each part out of five. Strategy, systems, data, touchpoints. Nobody is checking, so there is no value in being generous.
Circle your lowest score. Not your highest. Your lowest score is your priority, and when I run this live it is almost always data or touchpoints.
Make the one decision that level needs. Then leave everything else alone until it is done.
Social penetration theory, from Altman and Taylor in 1973, describes relationships deepening gradually as both sides give a little more. The same shape applies to everybody on your database.
Stranger. Knows your name. Has shared an email address, if that.
Acquaintance. Recognises you. Shares what they are interested in, and engages more.
Trusted. Relies on you. Takes action, and takes it more often.
Advocate. Recommends you, and shares you with other people.
Ask for the next layer too early and people back away, which is every fifteen-field form you have ever abandoned. Ask smart rather than ask less, and let each answer earn the next question.
Trust is made of credibility, reliability and intimacy, divided by self-orientation. Do they know their stuff, do they do what they say, do they get me, and is any of this about me or about them. The fastest way to destroy trust is not a bad email, it is an email that is entirely about you.
So I treat every touchpoint as a line in a ledger, because most CRMs make withdrawals without anybody noticing.
A useful email with no ask attached.
A fast, human reply.
Remembering a preference they told you once.
Pausing marketing while a complaint is open.
A subject line that keeps its promise.
Two systems sending the same email.
A promotion landing while a return is open.
A hard sell in week one.
Asking for data you already hold.
Dear FirstName, with the token broken or the warmth absent.
Before who gets this, every team should be asking the opposite, because exclusions are how a business demonstrates that it is listening.
They are upset. An open complaint or support ticket. Pause marketing and sales until it is resolved.
They have just bought. Stop selling what they already own, switch them to onboarding.
They are mid-conversation. In an active deal or talking to sales. Marketing steps back, one voice at a time.
They have gone quiet. No engagement for months. Stop shouting, change the approach, or let them go properly.
Every exclusion is a deposit in the ledger, and it protects your inbox placement at the same time. Asking a room whether their CRM knows about open complaints, and whether marketing can see that, reliably produces a very quiet room.
Spam complaints creeping up. No exclusions, and people being emailed at the wrong moment.
Engagement falling month after month. Bundled or forced opt-ins, and a list full of people who never chose you.
Sudden spam placement after a big send. No sending hierarchy, so every team sent at once.
Bounces and spam traps. Stale data with no owner and no hygiene schedule.
Main domain reputation dropping. Sales prospecting from the same domain as marketing.
The inbox now judges your CRM directly. Providers rank and summarise based on how people have engaged with you before, complaint rates above 0.3% get you filtered, and your sending behaviour accumulates into a reputation. Bad CRM makes bad engagement, and bad engagement makes the inbox bury you.
Where are they? Stranger, acquaintance, trusted or advocate.
What are they thinking? What is going on for them at this moment, before you write a word.
What should they feel? Recognition, relief, safety, status or hope. Pick one and do it properly.
Would a person send this? Somebody who noticed, or a system that fired?
Who should never get this? Complaints, recent buyers, people already in a sales conversation.
Thirty seconds per send. It is the difference between sending and relating, and it needs no software at all.
AI made sending free, and in doing so it made trust expensive. When everybody can send more, faster, more stopped being an advantage. Around 62% of UK consumers say they trust marketing less since brands started using AI, and 57% say they can usually tell when it is AI.
Which leaves feeling human as the one thing nobody can copy at scale, and email as the place where that either happens or does not. Email is not a channel your CRM uses, it is where the relationship lives.
If you write the emails, you are running the relationship. Not the CRM team, not IT, not the platform. You.